"In 2007 I had my baby girl. My pregnancy was a very good pregnancy, I got the usual swelling and heartburn but other than that no problems. I like many women had my birth plan and that was a natural birth with no medication in my hospital's birthing suite which included the birthing pool.
I refused to be induced and I had gone 15 days overdue, when I went into labour (after my 3rd sweep). I went into the hospital on Monday evening and by Tuesday morning my labour had slowed to a stop. My midwife broke my waters hoping to bring the labour on and after 12 hours with no progression I was told I needed to be induced, exactly what I didn't want to happen but because my waters had now been broken I had no option but to be induced. I was moved to the labour ward.
My midwife had advised me that if I was having an induction because the pain is artificial and fast and intense I should have an epidural, so I had the epidural. I was really glad I did as for the rest of Tuesday evening, myself, boyfriend and close friend were in the little room laughing joking, catching up on sleep whilst the induction was happening and because of the epidural I couldn't feel any pain.
My baby girl, was facing an odd angle and so she wasn't dropping down. My doctor came in to me at 4:30am on the Wednesday and told us that if she hadn't dropped by the time 6:30am came then I would have to have an emergency c-section! By about 5:30ish I remember my epidural had started to wear off and I started feeling the pain... Pain I can only describe as a severe burning and constant with no let up! I asked for more epidural and the midwife said that I would need to wait for the Doctor to come back and only then would I get the epidural. At about 6:20am I had this real urge to push, the pain was so immense and the urge was like nothing I have ever experienced, the midwife told me I wasn't allowed to push until 6:30am - to this day I don't know why, may be because the Dr was due back then to see if any progress and to have the c-section. In the end I told the midwife that I was pushing no matter what. She said if I wanted to push I was to do it without her agreement. So I started pushing (this was Wednesday)!
I remember saying to my boyfriend to keep me focused as I didn't want to be a screamer! I did really well, whilst pushing her out I was being sick in a paper bowl at the same time. I remember I was like Jekyll and Hyde, when I was pushing (and being sick) I got really angry and didn't want anyone talking to me, I kept sticking my fingers in my boyfriend's face to tell him to shut up with his encouragement! When the feeling died down, I would start crying asking him to give me encouragement and the cycle would continue!
I was pushing for an hour when the Dr was getting anxious about the baby as the heartbeat had disappeared because she was in my birth canal. By this stage I "shouted" that I wanted a c-section but the Dr told me it was too late and I had to concentrate and get the baby out. I remember I lost it a bit and really started screaming. The midwife came up to my face and said, "now listen, that screaming is not going to help anyone, at least not your baby, it is really important you get this baby out, so I advise you to concentrate and stop that screaming". It was the best thing she did as it brought me back and I started concentrating.
By then another Dr had come into my room and I remember her saying that she had to cut me. I felt her cut me and I screamed that "the bitch had ******* cut me"! By then another doctor had come into the room and the room of just me, my boyfriend, close friend and midwife had now become packed as they said it was getting really urgent to get the baby out. The Dr put a ventouse on the baby's head and tried pulling with my every push. The ventouse popped off twice, the second time the Dr's scrubs had splattered with blood and I remember screaming out about the baby's head and been ripped off. He said that the baby was fine it was the ventouse that had just come off the baby's head. In the end they used forceps to get her out.
At 8:30am, 2 hours since I started pushing, the forceps had helped get my baby girl out. Even as she was coming out of me she was screaming so I knew she was good. She was absolutely healthy at 8lb 8oz.
Whilst one of the doctors was checking over the baby, the two doctors that were left tending me were trying to stop the bleeding and sew me up. The main Dr said that I had needed to have surgery as the tear was more severe than they had hoped/realised.
I had to wait about 30/45 minutes for the top bowel consultant to come in to actually operate on me and I was taken into surgery. I had suffered a 4th degree tear, this is when your perineum tears so your vagina and back passage become one. Whilst I was in surgery my boyfriend was given my little girl (who was still crying!) to look after. The most upsetting thing about the whole experience was the fact that he had no midwife to help him, he was left in a small room outside the theatre with a newborn baby, he knew nothing about newborns and didn't know what to do. I was crying whilst being operated on and I said that I needed a midwife to go in to him to make sure he was OK and to give my baby a bottle. They did after about an hour - do as I ask. I was in surgery for just under 3 hours.
After the operation and once I was settled in to the ward, both the main Dr who helped to deliver my little girl and the Consultant who operated on me after came up to see me. They asked me what shoe size I was and I said that I was a size 3. They said that in hindsight I should have had a c-section as my pelvis was very small to deliver a child that big. I was also informed that if I ever wanted children again I would never be able to give a virginal birth again and they would have to be delivered by c-section!
Most people I talk to say you always forget the pain from your labour. I have to say that it is still fresh in my mind the pain and the mayhem and how scared I was about having to go into surgery, I still get choked up and upset when I talk about what happened that day.
Roll on to 2011, I am still under the hospital for my back passage as I have had some complications (which apparently is pretty normal). The good news is, is I am now 13 weeks pregnant with my second child and if it wasn't for the fact that I am having a c-section then I would never have children again!!"
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