Melissa's story, Darlington - baby number 2, home birth

"2nd baby - 14/01/05 - Home Birth

I knew straight away that I wanted our 2nd baby at home.

This time, we were settled in our own home and since being pleasantly surprised by my 1st birth, knew it was the right thing to do for our little family. Gas and air bottles were delivered and I picked up a prescription of Pethidine to keep in the fridge in case I needed it.

So, yet another normal, problem free pregnancy saw me to my due date of Thursday 13th January.

I remember sitting down that night and watching Question Time - feeling my first contraction during shouting at the TV! Didn't think anything of it and just like the 1st baby, went to bed for a sleep.

Didn't wake at all through the night, woke normally at breakfast time and felt contractions were coming quite close together. Called the midwife quite early who came out to the house and examined me, I wasn't quite as far along as I first thought so she left again and told us to call her once they got a bit closer together and longer.

In the meantime, my husband took our now 4 1/2 year old Alex to nursery and my Mum came over to the house.

I sat on my big, bouncy birth ball in my lounge and watched TV - just rocking back and forth through contractions and chatting to my Mum in between them.

By 12pm, husband had picked up Alex from nursery and contractions were quite close and long so midwife came back and brought 2nd midwife who just happened to be an old childhood friend of my husband, aswell as a student midwife!

The next time they examined me I was 8cm and felt like I need to be on my bed. As I did so, the midwives had to bully me into going for a wee as it seemed to preventing me from getting to 10cm! So I went and had a wee, when I came back they broke my waters and bang! I was 10cm!

Ready to push I felt like trying a bit of the gas and air again, just for fun! It was great but only had a couple of mouthfuls before baby's head was out.

All the while, in my room, were the 3 midwives, my husband, my Mum and my little boy (he was lying on the bed next to me).

At 3pm and after just a few pushes, our little girl Maisie Natasja was born, weighing a whopping 9lb 6oz! My son was the 1st to see her head (apart from midwives) and he was just the proudest big brother ever!

Again, no stitches, no tears, nothing - simple, straightforward, relaxed birth.

Now I sit here on my due date with baby number 3 - I hope that this next home birth is just as nice and easy - it better be as I haven't even bothered ordering the Pethidine this time!"

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Anon's story, UK - overdue relatively 'easy' labour

"I am 26 and my partner is 34. We started trying for a baby in September 2009 and I fell pregnant on Boxing Day! My due date was Sep 25th and I was due to have a stretch and sweep on Oct 4th which I wasn't too keen on but I tried to stay as calm as I could and just let things happen naturally especially as it was our first baby.

On October 3rd 2010 I went for a wee after waking up and felt some strong period pain type twinges in my stomach. I got washed and dressed into my specially chosen most comfortable outfit for travelling to the hospital in (not that I'm over organised you understand!) and went downstairs to get some breakfast. We already knew we were having a boy and had already chosen a name so I spent all morning talking to 'Ollie' and asking him if he was ready to come and meet us yet.

I managed to eat 2 crumpets and have a cup of tea before being completely shattered and then had to have a lie down on my sofa - how glad am I now that I bought a wipe clean faux leather sofa!! At around 11am I called the maternity ward to see if this was the start of labour!

They advised me it quite possibly was but that it could all calm down again and not progress so there was little point going into the ward and being bored. I decided to just stay put and ring again if I felt that I was getting anywhere.

During parenting classes it had been often mentioned that the more mobile you can be the easier labour may be, so I duly paced the lounge and hall, pressing my forehead against my fists on a wall and leaning to get me through each contraction. My best friend was due over for coffee and she duly arrived, she said I was eerily quiet, the staying mobile was sapping all my energy and seeing her laughing at the red marks on my face from leaning was enough for me to give up and lie down again. She said I was the quietest she has ever known me she left soon after - I think she was a little spooked. I'm never quiet!

My partner was cooking a roast and I decided I wasn't going to be able to eat it. We rang my friend and asked her to come back to eat the lamb dinner. She came back and her and my partner sat down in our dining room for a lovely Sunday roast whilst I massaged my stomach cramps and then started to be sick! After they had eaten and spent the WHOLE time popping in and out checking on me, why I do not know as I was still flat out on the sofa, she decided to go again and left us with strict instructions to call if we needed ferrying to hospital.

At 3pm my partner decided I should put my TENS machine on otherwise I'd get no benefit from it. I cannot stress how much I believe this did for me; I found this a really effective pain relief. At 5.30pm I was still being quite sick and thought I may be going into full blown labour, so after speaking to the ward again they also agreed and asked me to make my way in.

It took around 30 minutes to leave the house as my contractions were quite strong so I had to keep stopping to breathe through them and press the boost button on my TENS. I rested on the gates at the bottom of our drive for around 10 mins, the neighbours must have been having a field day!

I found it hard to sit properly in the car as I felt like I was pushing the baby back in in a sense and so I had to sit on one hip but still clutching my TENS boost button! We made the 20 minute journey to the hospital and I again had a long wait outside to let a contraction pass before making it up to the ward and being buzzed in.

I was settled into a delivery suite and pretty much left too it, which was lovely - I envisaged nurses running around and Drs bugging me and instead they were there but only in the background and the whole experience was very calm and tranquil and it almost felt like only my partner and I were there. At about 7pm they told me that the TENS would no longer really be having an effect as I was so far into labour now and they wanted to check me out. They announced I was 8-10cm dilated and I should get into a top or gown to birth in. Around this time they gave me Entinox and we prepared to start concentrating on getting our baby out.

I hadn't felt my waters go and suddenly I felt something going on, apparently my baby had meconium-ed prior to delivery - this now meant rather than birthing on one side I would have to be on my back with a monitor attached, as sometimes this can be a sign of the baby being in stress. STRESS! I was about to stress... I had read a book which had described labour as 'popping a large watermelon out of your bum whilst simultaneously poking yourself with hot pokers, then times it by a thousand'. Quite why I decided to read this just before my due date I'll never know, however this was the only phrase I could bring to mind and now I was about to start bearing down!

The midwife stayed with us now and my friend had left after having the unfortunate front seat for my 'check' and seeing more than she had bargained for. My mother had arrived and was delighted when we said she could stay for the labour - this would be her first grandchild. After deciding I was concentrating too much on the Entinox the midwife took it away again... I had done 3 pushes by now.

The midwife said she wanted me to work with her so I woudn't tear, to do this she would tell me when to stop pushing. For anyone who has given birth I am sure you will agree half way through a push it is nigh impossible to stop pushing, anyhow I tried. I ended up spending about 5 minutes apologising for not being able to stop pushing. I asked for the Entinox back as I was finding the pushing quiet painful which they couldn't understand as I had already birthed the head, but I was struggling with the shoulders. One last push and all I could see were 2 white/grey hands in between my legs and some beautiful long fingers wriggling around!!!

I started with tummy ache at 9am and gave birth at 20.53pm to a 7lb 9oz little boy. I must admit on the whole it was an uncomfortable experience - the actual labour but not excruciating, hence women have more than one baby! I found the cramping/contractions uncomfortable as no matter how hard I massaged they still came strong and hard. And for me it didn't all get forgotten about as soon as I was holding him. My mother cut the cord and they gave me a injection to deliver the placenta. They checked over Ollie and did all the necessary little tests and then disappeared again.

Once we had Oliver we were left again to bond as a family which was lovely. We took photos, I got comfortable, my brother came in to see him and then I was bought tea and toast. Unfortunately after eating one piece I was violently sick which again is apparently normal. My little boy had very long fingernails and although I had not torn I was scratched internally and they could do nothing about that so when I was told to have a bath I found this very painful and had to get straight back out.

When I went up to the ward around 1am and my partner was sent home I finally had an overwhelming feeling of just how responsible I was for this tiny little bundle.I was checked out by the nurses and advised if I didn't have a wee that they could see I would have to have a catheter fitted. I soon managed to have a wee although the cardboard jug given to me to do the deed in so they could measure it had sprung a leak so I ran/waddled back to the ward to get a nurse to come and see before it leaked all over the bathroom floor in the fear that if it all leaked away I'd be made to have a catheter anyway!! A night of no sleep and staring at the beautiful bundle beside me then began. By 10am the next morning my partner was back and we were off home.

As this was my first baby I had no understanding of an easy labour, I still don't really as I have nothing to compare it too however I have heard other birth stories and can see how easy I did have it. I think everyone's different and ordinarily I have a very low pain threshold but something took over in me and I was wonder woman for a small part of one day and for me that was all I needed!"

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Helen's story, Manchester - really positive, 'easy' birth

"My pregnancy was pretty straight forward with no problems apart from the usual low blood pressure, anaemia, etc. I loved having a bump and enjoyed being able to eat whatever (and however much!) I wanted. I worked up until 36 weeks and left work feeling on top of the world and wondering if perhaps I had left a little too early.

The first three weeks of my maternity leave were chilled out and ! was pretty active, going shopping and meeting friends for lunch most days. I enjoyed my penultimate weekend before my due date at my parents' house in the North East, being run around after by my Mum and seeing friends for the last time as non-Mummy!

The week before my due date felt much different - every day I got a little more uncomfortable and began running out of comfy positions. I found it harder and harder to sleep each night and eventually even my sacred place, the bath, was uncomfortable to be in. I felt miserable in the few days before my due date and spent almost three days in bed watching TV and feeling sorry for myself. I'd been having period-like pains for about two weeks but had realised by now that they meant nothing. I felt like I was coming down with a bad cold and my sister-in-law had called me saying that's how she'd felt a couple of days before she gave birth. I ignored her comments and decided not to get my hopes up, as she'd also gone 12 days overdue!

My baby was due on Thursday 14th October 2010 and after feeling totally rubbish since the Monday, being told by all my friends and family that I'd probably go overdue wasn't really helping my mood. On the Wednesday I spent the day in bed again but decided to haul myself up in time for my boyfriend getting in from work. I thought I should try and make a little bit of effort so I cheered myself up a bit by doing my make-up and hair and giving myself a French manicure. I threw on a t-shirt and some Uggs and went and sat on the sofa while my nails dried. My period-like pains seemed a little stronger that day but I knew this probably meant nothing. I kept getting crampy feelings around my ovaries too. These kept coming and going for a few hours but weren't particularly painful.

At around 6pm on Wednesday evening the cramps seemed to get a little stronger and ever so slightly more regular. I timed a few just to put my mind at ease but after about five I realised that there was no pattern to the pains so stopped timing. They kept coming and by the time my boyfriend got in at half seven I was pacing the living room. He was excited but I was adamant that the pains weren't contractions. They didn't feel like people had described so I figured they must just be Braxton Hicks.

At about 10pm by boyfriend decided maybe we should have a bath as it could help with the pains, then I could go to bed nice and relaxed. We squished in the bath together and he timed a few of my cramps but still there was no pattern to them. After about 20 minutes I got out of the bath to get ready for bed. I went into the bedroom and sat on my bed on a towel while I struggled to reach over my huge bump to put some knickers on. When I stood up I noticed quite a bit of blood on the towel and (obviously) panicked! I rang my Mum with shaking hands and she told me it'd be fine but to give the hospital a quick call anyway just to see what they thought. The hospital told me to pop in just to double check everything was OK. I didn't feel worried anymore, more inconvenienced that we had to go out at 11 o'clock at night when all I wanted to do was go to bed!!

My boyfriend and I threw on some clothes and his parents came to pick us up to drive us to the hospital. I wasn't going to take my hospital bag but my boyfriend threw it into the car 'just in case'. All I kept saying in the car on the way there was, "we'll be home in an hour, we'll be home in an hour"...

My pains were getting stronger and were coming much more often than before. My boyfriend's Mum was sure I was in labour but I was still in denial. When we got to the hospital my boyfriend and I went through to a room where they hooked me up to a machine that monitors the baby's heartbeat. I sat in there for about an hour with my cramps getting stronger and stronger but they still weren't particularly painful, more uncomfortable. A nurse came to examine me and we were all astonished to hear that I was 7cm dilated!!! Well, they whipped me through to the delivery suite quick smart and into a beautiful room with a lovely LOVELY midwife called Erika. My boyfriend ran off to tell his Mum and Dad to go home as they'd be waiting a long time otherwise, and I excitedly rang my Mum and whispered, "the baby's coming!"

I accepted the gas and air they offered me to ease my now slightly painful 'contractions' and sat on the edge of the bed swinging my legs and chatting happily to my midwife. She couldn't believe how fast everything was going considering it was my first baby and it was a boy (and we all know that boys are known to be lazy buggers!) I had asked her if she thought I'd need an epidural but her response was, "if you were going to need one you'd have asked for one by now" - and I felt fine! Although my carefully thought out Birthing Plan went right out of the window - it was all going far too fast to be having a water birth! The thing that struck me most at the time was how fine I felt in between contractions. They eventually got pretty strong and obviously very painful but in between I felt on top of the world!

I was perched on the edge of the bed sucking on my gas & air and giggling in between each contraction for a while before my midwife explained that the baby's heartbeat had slowed down a bit and I should lie down. Within seconds I was surrounded my doctors, nurses and midwives and was being examined again. I think the baby was trying to get out but couldn't because I was sitting down! The next hour or so was a blur as I was examined, my waters were broken and the baby's head needed to be scratched to check the oxygen in his blood. I was still surrounded by medical staff and by this time I was asking for some Diamorphine. My feet were in and out of stirrups as they turned me from my back to my side then onto my back again. At one point I asked to go back on my side with my knees in the stirrups as I found it rather comfy and was ready for a nap! But no such luck, the baby was coming and there was no time for sleeps just yet. I remember looking at the clock and it was 3:15am - "I know it's a silly question but how long do you think I've got left?" I asked Erika. "He'll be here within the hour," she replied. "Wow", I thought, "I can do this!!"

Erika was almost spot on. I pushed for about ten minutes and with the help of my darling boyfriend and the amazing midwives, my beautiful baby boy Finn was born at 4:24am on Thursday 14th October 2010 (on his due date!!) weighing 8lbs 7oz.

My boyfriend cut the cord and had skin-to-skin contact with his little baby son while I went into theatre for stitches (yep, thats how bad my tear was! - ouch!).

The staff at St Mary's Hospital in Manchester were utterly amazing and I feel I owe everything to Erika, my midwife. My boyfriend was incredible throughout the whole labour and I feel so, so proud of myself for getting through it with no epidural and no tears!! I feel so lucky to have had such a relatively straight-forward and easy labour, especially for a first-timer. I would go through it again tomorrow if I could - it was the most magical, special, beautiful thing I've ever experienced and all the pain goes away the second you lay eyes on your perfect little baby.

I'm glad I was able to share my story with you, as it is so special to me and I'd shout it from the rooftops if I thought people would listen!! I hope that someone who is scared of giving birth reads about my experience and feels more confident about doing it. I know it's a different experience for everyone, but for some people it can go pretty smoothly!"

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